Shut up about my diagnosis.

With my diagnosis I often get to hear two things. One being “It’s your diagnosis talking” and the second “You can’t hide behind your diagnosis. You are not your diagnosis”.

If I’m not my diagnosis, then stop making me my diagnosis. You are making me my diagnosis by telling me that it’s my diagnosis that controls my thoughts and feelings.

My diagnosis is a part of me. Sometimes it’s even the part that is in control, other times I’m the one in control. But that’s the way my diagnosis works. I’m not my diagnosis, it’s a part of me.

Body acceptance is for everyone!

I saw this photo on Facebook.

I just lost the little faith I had in humanity.

You’ve got one body, and that’s the only one you’ll ever have. You can’t spend your time being miserable about your body. Accept your body, embrace your body!

Being fat is not about over-eating or eating a lot of treats. There is a lot more too it.
Many people who are big are big because of something, there is a reason.

I can tell you my reason for being big and that’s because I’m sick, I’ve a disease that has no cure and it brings weight problems with it. Losing weight is harder than a lot of things, the one way I can lose weight is to stop eating. And I’m not talking about over-eating, I’m talking about eating one apple a day and that’s it.
I’m out walking everyday, I’m walking a minimum of an hour. I can’t take an hour walk just on an apple. What about school and work how can I keep that up on an apple?

All people needs to eat, the food holds the energy we need. So these big men and women should stop eating because they are fat in society’s eyes? So they are going to starve themselves because they can accept their bodies because you won’t let them?

Everyone is beautiful in their own way, no matter what.
I’m beautiful. You’re beautiful. All the people on the picture above is beautiful. Because beauty isn’t the way you look, it’s who you are and what you are on the inside, but body acceptance is for everyone. We all have something we don’t like about ourselves. We only have one body, one life, one try.

So love your body, take care of it, no matter how you look! Put on a smile and be proud. No one knows what you have been trough. No one knows why you look the way you do. No one knows your story!

So no matter if you’re big, or if you have one leg, or one boob, stand up, and stand up with pride. You have your story, you’re the only one that knows it. There is nothing wrong with you.

All your scars, extra weight, missing body parts, burns, bruises, birthmarks, freckles.
All your imperfections, all signs of life and struggle.
They make you YOU!

Body acceptance is for everyone.

There are so many people out there, young and old, men and women, that is doing everything they can to be accepted about the way they look, but it’s not about self acceptance is about society accepting them and their bodies.
They starve themselves, they train, they use make up, they get surgeries, fake legs, fake arms, fake breasts, fake nose. All so society will accept their bodies, because they can’t accept their bodies the way they are.

I’m not that good at accepting my body either, and when people say things about the way people look it breaks my heart, because I know the struggle. I hate myself, I hate the way I look. And it’s not because of me. I hate my body because I’ve been told how ugly I am, I’ve been taught to hate my body, all because I don’t fit into the beauty standards of the society we live in.

And I have all body parts, all the body parts that can be seen that is, but what I have is extra weight. I’ve scars covering my arms and legs.
Everyone sees that. My weight and my scars, but no one knows my story. All the trauma I’ve been through, the stress, the pain, the misery, the betrayal. No one truly knows these things except me.
I’m not satisfied with my body, but I only have one.
But then again…

All your scars, extra weight, missing body parts, burns, bruises, birthmarks, freckles.
All your imperfections, all signs of life and struggle.
They make you YOU!

Body acceptance is for everyone.

For all of you out there struggling with your body, no matter why, no matter how, you are not alone. I’m sending love, prayers, strength and hope to you.
May God bless you and help you on your journey.

Best of Me.

My dream is simple, yet so complicated.
Let’s start with the complicated version.

I once received a gift, different from any gift I ever received. This gift wasn’t sent to me personally ally and it was three years old, brand new to me and I needed it. The gift wasn’t send from anyone I knew, instead it as sent from three American men, for anyone who would hear it.

I remember when I received it. New years eve 2007. I was 11 at that point and I was spending new years eve with my mother in a tiny village in South Sweden named Grönahult.
I laid next to my mother in her dark bedroom, she’d been asleep for what felt like forever. I was on my phone looking for a new game. I didn’t find one, but instead I received a gift that would save my life.

Time went by and because of this gift I learnt how to say “no”. These men taught me how to stand up for myself, they made me feel valuable, like I could make a difference.
There were no adults that help me get away from my parents, no teachers, no friends, no family. It was my no that got me away from the violence at home. My no, that these three men taught me, saved me.

As I got older these men stuck with me. These men and what they do is still an important part of my life.
They taught me valuable lessons, I made friends, I got experiences, I learnt things.
They kept me alive, they kept me walking.
They gave me a family, they gave me so much.

And that is what I want to do. I want to help, to inspire. I want to make someone’s life better. I want to give someone hope. I want to be a person who never stops giving.

I want to share my music, my writing with the world, with the one who needs it.

Short version:
I want to be a well known musician and songwriter.

These three men I’m talking about are Green Day. Green Day are today Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, Tré Cool and Jason White.

I’m on the path of reaching my dreams.
I play drums and I write everything I possibly can.

But then of course we have another view of it. An insecurity, a self-hatred, that keeps me from any progress. I can play, but I get insecure and start blaming myself when I try something new or when I play with or for others. In fact playing by myself is hard enough. I have to repeatedly tell myself “I can do this” only to play in an empty house.

It got better since I got home, but instead I realized a mistake that got me to write this.

I sent in an application to a school about the music classes, 50% high school and 50% music.
I messed up the application by naming the email wrong. The application was due May the 1st, then days ago.

I didn’t know how to manage the situation, so I thought I was going to do what I always do, write.
I thought I was going to explain what music means to me, but words never seem to be enough.

“Music to me is the air that I breathe, it’s the blood that pumps through my veins that keeps me alive” – Billie Joe Armstrong

LGBT.

You can’t choose your gender, your parents, the color of you skin or your eyes.

There are many things here in life we can controll. Life, love and death.
“You can’t choose who to fall in love with, but you can choose who you want to spend your life with”.

Life, love and death are things we can’t control even if we can make some active choices like where to study and where to live. We can’t choose not to get diabetes or cancer. We can’t choose when to fall in love or who fall in love with.
Then how can you ask how people choose to be gay? You don’t get to choose your sexuality, but you get to decide what to do with the gift you have been given.

My biggest pride is my sexuality and I am not alone feeling like this. It’s a gift, a blessing.

I read the news the other day where it said something about a lawyer for Cali wanting the right to execute homosexuals and anyone supporting LGBT.
At first it made me laugh, and so the time after that, and after that, and so on.

How can people think it’s so wrong being gay when they are ready to kill a person just because they are different than themselves? Isn’t there something wrong with them?
We are all people. We are all born and we all die. We are all human.

At least I am not an alien, I am a human as far as I know.  Last time I checked I was.

The LGBT community is NOT the biggest danger to our world. In fact it’s not dangerous at all. It’s about love, try a little love. It’s not going to kill you.

The biggest danger to our community in my opinion is fear, recklessness, stubbornness, self-righteous, selfishness and hate.

A little faith can’t hurt you.

And for those of you who are believers of God and his word.
How come divorce is okay when homosexuality is not?
Isn’t God supposed to be about love?

Stop believing that you are God.
Stop believing that you are always right.
Stop fearing what you can understand.

Homosexuals (or whatever your sexuality is) and the supporters of LGBT we are also human. We make mistakes and all of us are not good. Just like not every straight person is a good person.

Get down from your high horse and go and pray.

Life.

Life is hard, we all know it, we have all seen it.
It’s all up to us and how we play our cards, not really optimal, but.

It’s time for me to change my life, to reach my goals. I just have no idea how.
School? Makes me meet people maybe I find a band.
Training? Could help me loose weight.
But what kind of school, which school? What kind of training?

I wrote something yesterday, and it means a lot to me, trying to feel like you are alive and free instead of feeling like you are stuck in a cage and dying.

I’d really like to share my work, but I am too scared too.
They mean so much to me and if they are lost, I don’t know what I’d do.
My writing is my life, they explain everything I have been trough.

18 years. I am 18 and my mother have been sick my entire life, six months ago she was actually dying, but as time was on it’s last we got the call. They had a matching liver.
And today she is recovering.

6 years, I have known him for six years. Trough my private hell, he’s been there. I really do love him, but we need our space, and we can’t keep this up anymore. We still talk, we are still friends, but this is so hard I just want to break down and cry.

Music is my life, all I want to do is to be in a band. To play drums and write songs. Find people who listens to our music and get helped by it. Inspired by it. Saved by it.

I have made a decision.

I am now registered as an organ donor.
Are you?

My mom got a new liver five months ago and it saved her life.
If it would have arrived only a matter of a month later she would be dead today.
After being sick for 30 years my mother is now recovering.

An organ donor saved my mother’s life, my only family.
Did you know as an organ donor you can save up to eight people’s lives?

Do you want to save lives?
Then being a donor can do that.