Anemia, pain and exercise.

Despite anemia, an incredibly strong abdominal pain and a lot of extra weight I have been have been exercising for the past two week a lot more.

I started with 20 minutes on an exercise bike.
I am now instead walking instead of using an exercise bike.
My morning starts with a 20-40 minutes walk around/between 6 and 7 am. Then during day time I spend around 1h walking.
My minimum goal of walking in one day is at 1h and 25 minutes. Which I easily reach by divide these minutes.

Instead of starting my diet again, which my mother and I thought was a bad idea because we don’t know why I have these pains and other symptoms, I start most of my days with oatmeal. And I really don’t like oatmeal. During days I drink milk, water and tea.

And if I feel I need a snack during the day for nutrition or energy I eat some nuts. The are very rich on calories but also contains a lot of nutrition, and as a vegetarian they are perfect as long as you don’t eat too many.

The anemia and the pain are getting harder to deal with everyday, but I have decided to lose weight no matter how weak I get or how much energy and strength it takes for me to ignore the pain. I am simply stronger.

Life.

Life is hard, we all know it, we have all seen it.
It’s all up to us and how we play our cards, not really optimal, but.

It’s time for me to change my life, to reach my goals. I just have no idea how.
School? Makes me meet people maybe I find a band.
Training? Could help me loose weight.
But what kind of school, which school? What kind of training?

I wrote something yesterday, and it means a lot to me, trying to feel like you are alive and free instead of feeling like you are stuck in a cage and dying.

I’d really like to share my work, but I am too scared too.
They mean so much to me and if they are lost, I don’t know what I’d do.
My writing is my life, they explain everything I have been trough.

18 years. I am 18 and my mother have been sick my entire life, six months ago she was actually dying, but as time was on it’s last we got the call. They had a matching liver.
And today she is recovering.

6 years, I have known him for six years. Trough my private hell, he’s been there. I really do love him, but we need our space, and we can’t keep this up anymore. We still talk, we are still friends, but this is so hard I just want to break down and cry.

Music is my life, all I want to do is to be in a band. To play drums and write songs. Find people who listens to our music and get helped by it. Inspired by it. Saved by it.